As parents we all want our children to form connections at school during this new school year. Friendships made in school help to build social skills, boost confidence, and provide a sense of belonging that will help children now and in the future. For some children, however, making friends can be a challenge. In this blog we’ll discuss how you can help your child develop the skills needed to form lasting friendships at school.
Why are friendships so important at school?
We all know that friendships are an integral part of your child’s school experience. Friendships offer children the acceptance, approval, and sense of belonging they crave. They also provide children with emotional support, help with school anxiety, and build confidence. Having friends who care about them helps your child feel good about themselves in school, alleviating anxiety. Children also learn life skills through friendships, such as how to collaborate, communicate and resolve conflicts.
If your child struggles to connect with other children and form friendships, it can be a blow to their self-esteem, leaving them feeling alone and frustrated.
Why do some children struggle to make friends?
It can be a painful question to ask.
If your children aren’t making friends during this new school year and don’t have anyone to hang out with, it can be difficult not to worry. Some children take longer than others to learn skills needed to make friends, like starting a conversation, responding to social cues, and listening to others. Some children get too anxious to talk to others or can struggle to come up with things to talk about. Often, when children struggle to make friends, it’s not to do with their personality and they might just need to work on their social skills.
Building and maintaining relationships with peers in school is often more challenging for children with learning difficulties, such as autism. These children can face unique challenges when it comes to making friends and often feel as though they don’t ‘fit in’ at school.
ADHD: Impulsivity and hyperactivity can often make it difficult for children to maintain focus during conversations. It can lead to interrupting others, struggling to listen and difficulty understanding social cues. This can make it difficult for children with ADHD to connect with their classmates.
AUTISM: Children with autism often face difficulties with understanding social norms. They can struggle to grasp facial expressions and tone of voice, leading to misunderstandings and social comfort. Autistic children often need extra support to understand and learn skills for making and keeping friends. Autistic children can find it tiring at school around peers as they could be masking to fit in.
How you can help your children
Making and maintaining friendships at school involves skills that can be learnt at home within your family as children really pay attention to what we do in the family setting. Here are some suggestions on how you can help your children, including those with ADHD and autism, to make healthy friendships at school:
Teach Empathy: Empathy is an important part of building a friendship. At home, create an environment where everyone treats each other with kindness and understanding. Encourage your children to show empathy by acknowledging other’s feelings and perspectives. It is also important to teach your child to apologise for their mistakes and seek forgiveness. After a family or sibling argument, try to practice and encourage forgiveness.
It is important for your children to understand how others are feeling to be empathetic. You can by talking and naming your own feelings, encouraging your child to name their own feelings. It is useful to create an environment where all feelings are accepted, even difficult ones like anger. Reading stories together is a great way to boost empathy skills. Whilst reading, you can discuss with your child what they think the characters are feeling. We’ll cover how Stix help generate empathy further on in this blog!
Promote Cooperation: Play games together as a family, practicing teamwork. This can also teach your child to take turns and value other’s opinions. Splitting chores, like making dinner and cleaning up can also add to these skills. Often children are stuck in their own way of thinking and doing and are unable to cooperate. Teaching your children how to collaborate with classmates is an important skill that will benefit them into adult life.
Encourage curiosity: As a family, constantly ask each other about your day, interest, and ideas. Encouraging your children to ask questions will benefit them in conversations with their classmates. This way, they will also be drawn to people who have similar interests and discover who they enjoy spending time with.
Develop communication skills: To make new friends, children need to learn how to introduce themselves to others and think of appropriate things to say. It’s also important for children to actively listen, to make it clear to their classmates that they are paying attention through eye contact, remaining quiet, and making eye contact. Parents can help foster this by showing good communication skills at home, engaging children in pleasant conversations.
You can shut of screens for a family dinner and talk to each other and encourage involvement in the conversation by talking about films, TV shows or sports your children like.
Find friends with similar interests: You should encourage your child to participate in extracurricular activities or clubs that align with their interests. Whether it’s sport, music, or art, shared interests can often lead to new friendships. Group settings can offer a natural way for children to connect with peers who share their passions and an opportunity for collaboration and teamwork.
Friendships with Stix remotes
At Stix, we understand how vital friendships are for children’s social and emotional development. Our Stix remotes are designed to help children develop skills needed to make lasting friendships. By teaching mindfulness and emotional regulation, Stix activities help children build focus, reduce anxiety, and become more present at school—making it easier for them to connect with classmates and form meaningful relationships.
Reducing anxiety and building confidence
For children who are anxious about interacting with their classmates at school, they can use breathing techniques taught throughout our programme to calm down and approach conversations with more confidence. By practicing mindfulness strategies, children can feel more at ease when interacting with peers, allowing them to engage more fully in friendships and classroom activities. Our mindfulness of the body activities promote awareness of bodily symptoms of anxiety. Activities such as Balloon Arms, where children visualise their body as an inflating and deflating balloon as they breathe, teach techniques to cope with anxiety at home and at school.
Recognising classmates’ and their own emotions
Whether it’s through Bubble Popping, Rainbow Painting or Emotion Surfing in our 'mindfulness of thoughts and feelings' section, children learn how to identify and manage emotions. Leaning this helps them better understand their classmates’ emotions, leaving them able to better relate to their peers, be empathetic and build stronger bonds. For children with Autism and ADHD trying to make friends, this is particularly useful as they find it harder to understand and control emotions.
When children understand and can regulate their emotions they can better react to situations at school. For instance, Tom’s seat next to his best friend Alex is taken by another classmate. After using Stix Tom was able to acknowledge his anger and regulate his reaction by counting down from ten and taking deep breaths, leading to improved relationships. Find out more about Stix and emotional regulation in children here.
Learning compassion for classmates
Our activities in the mindfulness of the heart section teach children to build compassion, gratitude, and appreciation. This helps children to develop a deeper connection with their peers by being present, patient, and considerate in their interactions. Developing these skills helps your children to build deeper long-lasting connections.
Stix friendships
Using Stix remotes collectively at school have led to what we like to call Stix friendships. At Laddingford St Mary’s in Kent for instance, two children bonded over the mindfulness activities and became close friends. They bonded over a shared love for our Senses activity, enjoying naming things that they could see, touch, hear, smell and taste. This really connected them to the present moment together and they were excited collaborate.
All children used the Stix together during the schools ‘Stix Afternoons’ as an opportunity for collaboration and communication. This shared experience also encouraged the children to become excited and motivated to continue their mindfulness journey. Children can continue their connections build through the Stix remotes by becoming Stix buddies on our app. Using it, they can follow each other’s journeys and see their achievements and unlocks.
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